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Monday, October 6th, 2008
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12:06 pm - Fresh Haiku
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| Monday, September 8th, 2008
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10:20 am - Half year entry
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I've been so bad about updating here, but I don't feel so bad because I'm bad about updating MySpace and my handwritten journal as well. I guess I don't write as much when I'm not mad about something, which is pretty sad.
My first baby just turned 5 today. (Well, technically she'll be 5 at 11:22pm, but that's too late to hold a party.) It's hard to believe it's been that long, but at the same time, it feels like she's been around forever. I'm not sensitive enough to do the whole crying on the first day of school thing, so I sent her off with a smile and I'm looking forward to hearing about her day.
I'm still interested in being a doula but I don't know how sustainable it would be. This isn't the time to be playing around with a secure job. I need my insurance and I really do have a heart for the people I work for and the division I'm in. I seem to get along with my new boss as well.
I'm not so sure about the moving thing. I know there would be several pros, but also some cons to moving out. Financially it would be harder (I pay very little where I'm at now) but it would allow some freedoms. We'll see how it all works out. I'll pray for guidance on this one.
Okay, short entry, but I still did it, so I guess that's good for something.
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| Friday, March 7th, 2008
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10:29 am - Writer's Block: All in the Family
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Yes, I think whoever you have around will influence who you are as a person. I think the ways that siblings affect each other depends on a great many of factors (age difference, gender, personalities, etc.) but I know it is nice to have people who grow up in a similar experience. I know with my sisters, we can glance at each other after hearing a comment from a parent and we each understand that Mom is in one of "those" moods. We also understand what "those" moods are having experienced them from inside the family as opposed to a friend who may be close, but just isn't IN on the family.
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| Thursday, August 31st, 2006
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8:41 am - dead ends
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I haven't cut my hair in over a year. For several reasons. One, I really don't know anyone who is good at cutting curly hair. Places like Great Clips and such seem to be training grounds for those who are trying to get experience and move up. So if I go there, they will try to cut my hair and if it ends up looking like crap, I'll go back and they'll say "oh, sorry, she doesn't work here anymore!" Plus, really--if someone doesn't know how to cut it the first time, why would I go back and have them try again? Practice makes perfect?
So does anyone know of any good places to try to get my hair cut without paying out my savings?
Oh yeah, yesterday was the first day I ever got flowers at work. It was the sweetest gesture! I love flowers and I've received them on dates, at home, and while I'm out, but never at work. What a wonderful surprise!
current mood:  happy
current music: humm of printer, computers, etc...
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| Sunday, June 25th, 2006
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10:43 pm - Steamy Sunday nights
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Just got back from Seattle.
It was fun, but not much of a family reunion. We didn't do as much visiting as we should've. I was way too tired for one thing, and so was my younger sister. I did get to drive my uncle's new car though. He was pretty trusting, seeing as I told him I had been tipsy earlier that night.
Friday night I went to Portland City Grill. I've never been there before and it was BEAUTIFUL! I love the view from up there. Aside from the guys who were really drunk and asking what I was drinking, it was a nice environment. Crystal liked it too, but she thought there were too many unnatural blondes with boobs that couldn't possibly grow naturally on their size 0 frames. I had a good time though. I was told I HAD to go there to try a cadillac margarita, which I have to say was delicious. Yummy--too bad I'm a lightweight. I handed over the keys after half a drink and was tipsy until we got to our next destination--quite a while later. Guess that's good though 'cause I don't have to spend an arm and a leg to have a good time.
Karaoke was fun. I didn't sing from the mic, but I did plenty of table singing and I didn't need the drinks I had there, but the night was fun. We ended up at Denny's out of nostalgia--since Crystal hadn't been there in FOREVER--and Nick won't go there. Didn't get back to my house until after 3pm--my poor friend who met us there thought he had to work at 7am. He was pretty mad when he got to work and found out that he wasn't due there until 1:30pm!
So I only got a few hours of sleep. Then it was up and at-'em for our trip. I was super grouchy with Cadence. Poor little. I had intended on sleeping on the way there, since I wasn't driving, but little C would have none of it.
It is way too hot right now to be typing all this. We have AC, but it's not kicking in my room. I guess if you climb up to the corner where the smart designer put the vent, it might be pretty cool. But down here where I'm living, it's HOT as anything.
I originally decided to update because I was upset and mildly irritated, but I guess I'm not so much anymore. Now I'm more contemplative. We'll see what that leads to.
current mood:  contemplative
current music: whir of the fan
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| Monday, May 9th, 2005
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8:46 pm - Dang, this IS pretty accurate!
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The Keys to Your Heart
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You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. |
In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored. |
You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. |
You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. |
Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets. |
Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. |
You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. |
In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily. |
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| Friday, March 25th, 2005
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11:09 pm
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I feel really tired right now. I look pretty tired too. Aside from looking in the mirror, I have a digital pic to prove it. But that's okay. It's an accurate reflection.
Cadence was teething today. She just about gave me a heart attack. She was sitting on my dad's lap and one of her most favorite things to do is grab the pens out of his pocket. He had a mechanical pencil that has a sharp end, so he removed it and let her play with the other, capped/safe pens. Mind you, it's not that safe to let a kid play with pens, but she was sitting right on his lap and using the pens to write on a pad of paper.
Later in the evening, she ran over to the table that had the forbidden pencil on it and grabbed it. We saw her do it and my dad, who was closer, reached out and grabbed her but she was moving away so quickly that she tripped and scratched her face. I was so worried that she would poke her eye out!!! Thank goodness she didn't. I love the little critter so much!
I wish I had an mp3 player in my car. My friend gave me a cd of mp3s that she likes and I love it but I can only play it on my computer. Sure I can convert the songs to regular format, but there would be so many more cds to carry around if I did that. Oh well. Eventually it will be old technology and then I'll get an mp3 player for really cheap.
I need a wardrobe update for not much money. Wonder if that's likely...
current mood:  sleepy
current music: Pink
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| Thursday, September 2nd, 2004
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3:29 pm - Baby baby baby
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So how horrible would it be to not have a party?
I've been thinking about it.
Originally, I thought that I would have a little birthday party for Cadence with just my family on her actual birthday. We would maybe play and sing songs and hang out with her and then fix something special for dinner and help her open gifts. That would be fun, I thought. Maybe some balloons and such.
She will be turning one next week. ONE!!! A WHOLE YEAR!!! I can't believe it. She is SO wonderful!!! She is full of personality and determination. I'm so glad.
Originally talking to Thomas, he wanted to have a party at his aunt & uncles' house (they raised him) on the weekend. I thought that would be fine. So when I talked to his Aunt, she said he hadn't mentioned it (they rarely hear from him) but that she would love to and she'll let all the cousins know. Then Thomas got pissed at me because I'm asking him for Child Support, so he said to forget about the party. So I called his Aunt and said she didn't have to have a party and she said to forget about what Thomas says. She would still like to have a party and what do I want for Cadence.
Honestly, I think his family is great. I really like them. His cousin Emily (how I met Thomas) is a good friend to me and I get along with her family. They've made me feel very welcome. But I feel uncomfortable giving them a want list--for anything. For Cadence, for myself. I just feel weird. For my family, sure. But for his family--I just don't feel like I should. Especially when I can't afford to buy gifts for all of them on their birthdays. I just send or make cards. So I said it would be wonderful if each of the cousins made a card and put a picture in it. It means so much to make a card. But Auntie said that they all want to get her something. So I made a little three item list and we'll see what happens.
So anyways, we're going to have my family's party for her actual birthday. Then we'll all trek up there (it's only about 15 minutes away in good traffic) and celebrate with all of Cadence's aunts and uncles and cousins. But now I feel odd because I've had a few friends call and ask if I'm having a party for her. So I feel like a bad parent that I'm not throwing this big bash for her birthday.
She's one, so it's special because it's her FIRST birthday. And I'm VERY excited. But at the same time, she's JUST ONE!! Will she remember? I think she'll probably just get cranky if there are too many things going on. I don't know. So am I bad for not having a big party with all of my friends and her baby friends? I just see a cry fest. :-(
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| Friday, August 20th, 2004
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8:46 pm - In the great outdoors
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First off, I have to give MAD PROPS to Jen for her skating skills. I went with Michelle to her company picnic at Oaks Park. I dont know if Jen skates or blades, but you have to pay more to rent the blades and I haven't had a pair in years. So we went with the regular skates and I sucked at it! We both had tons of fun, but I seem to lack the ability to stop without crashing into the walls. There were some people there who were so good!! I was not one of them....
But the picnic was fun. We got the deluxe bracelets free and Michelle and I went on a bunch of the rides. Even the kiddie ones. (Stay away from the pathetic so-called-Haunted Mine.) The Kiddie Rollercoaster was actually kinda fun though. I convinced Michelle to go on the bigger one too. My favorite was the Screaming Eagle. Oaks Park doesn't have that many rides but the ones we went on were fun.
So again, mad props to Jen.
current mood: chipper
current music: "ba da da ba nigh...Nigh...NICE...NICE" - Cadence
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| Sunday, August 8th, 2004
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1:17 pm - Ode to Kelly
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| Thursday, July 29th, 2004
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9:13 pm - My kiss is Erotic--I've been told this before
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| Wednesday, March 17th, 2004
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9:13 pm - Kiss me, I'm cute!
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Yep!! That's the extent of St. Patty's day for me. Someone at work took a green marker and wrote it on my hand. Still haven't seen any leprechans or pots of gold, but I guess it's just for warding off bad luck more than bringing in the good. Oh well!!! "Kiss me, I'm cute" works for me. I'll make a new one that says "Bring me licorice, I'll kiss ya!!" I'm craving that right now. Red licorice. YUM.
Cadence didn't go to bed till just now. She's been pretty good all day. Growing SO fast! but I'm tired. I stay up too late talking on the phone and not doing anything really important.
I've decided to call my mom's dog CrapAss. Why such a creative name, you ask? Well, the other night I was walking through a public park after dark. While walking through the grass, I kept seeing pinecones and thinking how lucky I was not to step in dog crap since it was dark. Sorry dog lovers, but I don't think it's cool to let your dog go wherever it wants unless you clean it up with your little plastic bag or your pooper scooper, okay? So all was fine and good and I made it back to my car without a hint of doggie residue. Then, that evening, I'm feeding Cadence when I smell something rotton. First I thought: Great, time to change her. But it was worse than SHE smells. It smelled like a loaf of poop was just sitting there. SO GROSS!!! So I got up to see where the source of the smell was. Then I almost slipped!! In what!? Just guess.... nasty crapass decided she didn't want to go potty outside (where she was about 10 minutes before the incident). Walk through a dark park with no problem, but watch out for your kitchen floor!!!
Not a very pretty story, but gosh it was annoying. So I won't really call her Crap-Ass. I'll call her CrapButt or maybe CrapAussie. Cause she's an Austrailain shepherd, so it fits. How annoying.
Oh yeah, and the Financial aid students--- I owe Cyndi a box of chocolates tomorrow. She fixed 1200 students for me, or so I've heard. I know it's her job and all, but MY GOODNESS!!! So I'll be hitting up Target or someplace cheap for some baby sunglasses and a box of chocolates tomorrow.
current mood: sleepy
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| Wednesday, March 10th, 2004
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4:14 pm - Back from hibernation
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Here I am. Physically, a new person. No, no surgeries, but I've been told that if you give it long enough, your body basically rebuilds itself and is entirely different from how it was before. So I'm a new me. Same confused mind though... :-)
Cadence is six months old. SIX MONTHS!!! That's SO OLD!!! She's SO beautiful and I love her so much. Even when she's a pill. She has so much character and personality already! She changes so fast! And Tom doesn't live here anymore, but as soon as I filed for custody, he decided that he wants to be super-papa and is coming to visit. Okay. Good for him. He SHOULD spend time with her, and it shouldn't take me filing for custody for him to do it. But sometimes, I guess that's what it takes. He says he feels "neutral" about me now. Is that supposed to make me feel better? Hmmm... I don't want to be with him, but I certainly don't feel neutral. I still care about him and what happens to him. Maybe I shouldn't worry about it anymore. I think I'd feel better even if he were angry because at least it's something. Not that it would be pleasant. Neutral. So I could drop off the face of the earth and it wouldn't bother him. Except, then he'd have to take care of Cadence, and that wouldn't be ideal for him cause he's just getting his life back in order now.
My new job is great! I've been really blessed. Let's see how I hold up during the busy times though--I've been told it gets REALLY hectic. And my boss/partner is going into labor today to have her THIRTEENTH kid, so I guess one and half weeks training is all I get. It's okay though, the other managers help out and know most of the stuff too. I think it would've been easier if I'd been a transfer instead of learning it all from the beginning, but I'll get the hang of it and once rush is over, I'll be seasoned.
So I'm back, but I'm leaving for now. Let's see how long till I have a minute to post again!
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| Friday, August 2nd, 2002
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11:56 pm - ARGH!
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| Tuesday, July 30th, 2002
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4:22 am - What am I doing up so late???
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I'm over at Micah's house listening to music. He even let me get Supermario Brothers three!!!!!!!
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| Wednesday, July 24th, 2002
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12:07 pm - Advise
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Eric says "people come, and people go, and who will stay, you just never know"
current mood: chipper
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12:06 pm - Gotta get through this <--on the radio
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If only I could get through this
I get through this
I gotta get through this
I gotta get through this
I gotta make it, make it, make it through
I'm gotta get through this
I gotta get through this
I gotta take my, take my mind off you
Give me just a second and I'll be all right
Surely one more moment couldn't break my heart
Give me 'til tomorrow then I'll be okay
Just another day and then I'll hold you tight
When your love is falling like the rain
I close my eyes and it falls again
When will I get the chance to say I love you
I pretend that you're already mine
Then my heart ain't breaking every time
I look into your eyes
If only I could get through this
If only I could get through this
If only I could get through this
God, gotta help me get through this
I gotta get through this
I gotta get through this
I gotta make it, make it, make it through
Said I'm gotta get through this
I gotta get through this
I gotta take my, take my mind off you
Give me just a second and I'll be all right
Surely one more moment couldn't break my heart
Give me 'til tomorrow then I'll be okay
Just another day and then I'll hold you tight
When your love is falling like the rain
I close my eyes and it falls again
When will I get the chance to say I love you
I pretend that you're already mine
Then my heart ain't breaking every time
I look into your eyes
If only I could get through this
If only I could get through this
If only I could get through this
God, gotta help me get through this
If only I could get through this
God, gotta help me get through this
If only I could get through this
God, gotta help me get through this
If only I could get through this...
current mood:  bouncy
current music: Dilemma -- Nelly
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| Monday, July 15th, 2002
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1:16 am - how was the trip????
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I have to say that Vegas was AWESOME!!! :-) It was amazing and I had such a fun time! The shows were entertaining, the hotels were awe inspiring, the lounge acts were titillating, the bars were fun, the clubs were amazing--I could go on and on and on!! It was 106 degrees, but didn't feel quite that hot, unless you were walking for three miles in the sun (which I did....). It's way less humid there. I'm already planning my return trip!
crap, just forgot I need to return a library book that was due....argh
but the trip was great! And we saw Australia's Thunder from Down Under show which was so entertaining!!! Yeah, I'm a horny girl and I go for accents. I don't care if you think they were cute--they can DANCE and entertain quite a bit!!! :-D
So yeah, technically, I could write pages and pages on Vegas, but I think I might save that for my scrapbook, which will be finished as soon as Nicole develops her two rolls of film to match my two rolls of film. Horray for Vegas! Oh yeah, no big winnings, but no big losses means I'm happy.
current mood: chipper
current music: hot in here--Nelly???
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| Friday, July 5th, 2002
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11:24 am - Still in my PJs
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I'm glad the 4th wasn't boring. I was worried about that. Laziness ruled the morning as I didn't even get up till noon or so. Talked with Crystal about things to do in Vegas and then headed over to my parent's house.
I wanted to go shopping, but it was too busy. Everyone and their grandpa were off today so I couldn't even find a parking spot. It's just as well cause I don't have money anyways.
Kelly drove out when she got off work and we took Chewy (one of the many dogs my parents have) out to play ball. He never tires of retrieving it. It's almost like he thinks each time we play will be the last time, so he never wants the game to end. When he looked like he was going to fall over from exhaustion, we went back. He was still gasping for air 30 minutes later. Interesting how he still wanted to play! I would've been like "forget this!! YOU threw the ball, YOU go find it!!!" But he's a good dog.
Today I'm supposed to go hang out with Adam and Anna and Andrew. Hmm....so many A's!!! Yeah, we all rock. :-) Then I'm going to get my dress fitted for Phantom of the Opera. After that, I'm going out to Emily's. She invited me out to see her new apartment and hang out with some friends. We'll probably watch movies and play games. I always have fun hanging out with all them--even if all we do is sit around and laugh. :-)
current music: Mike's CD mix
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| Thursday, June 27th, 2002
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1:11 am
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Bryan left today. :-( He was really cool and I know I'll miss him. I also think Sam might be gone. That sucks. The new girl, Wendi, seems pretty cool though.
The ice cream party at BN was cool, but sucky. Cool b/c they had eight kinds of ice cream. Sucky because the "party" was just free ice cream--not really a party at all.
Jen didn't work today. :-( I haven't seen her at work in a while. She did come in and visit me the other day though, so I guess I can't really complain.
current music: I wanna know
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